Admissions

Admissions When reflecting that becoming part of this society would lead me to self-hatred, I have come to see Master as an example. The hardship he undergoes and the courage he portrays afterwards have inspired me to embrace who I am. He has always encouraged me to have my own personal outlook and opinion. After reading Lolita, my brother and I spent the following days dissecting every minute detail, trying to find some kind of understanding of Lolita. We searched together for insight, sat up late after dinner arguing about whether or not Humbert loved Dolores, and what the final meeting between Humbert and Dolores meant. My experience of Lolita is intrinsically connected to the discussions I had with my brother. Lolita inspired in me a fervent hunger for discussion of truth. By the time high school rolled around, that girl was nowhere to be found. After years and years of being told what to think and the “right” questions to ask, I had retreated into intellectual paralysis. I would uncomprehendingly coast through my classes, molding my knowledge to fit the next quiz and promptly forgetting it afterwards. School didn’t require, and at times, actively discouraged my insatiable desire to figure out the puzzles of the world, so I shoved that side of myself away and forgot that it even existed. This epic is not only a great bookâ€"it is the great book of Poland, as important and symbolic as the Vistula River that flows from the Polish mountains to the Baltic sea. Constitution, Poles are required to memorize sections of Pan Tadeusz, especially those which are thought to embody the core of what it means to be Polish. I can’t look at it without a wave of nausea and fascination crashing over me. If you flip through the book now, you can see the pages I gripped so tightly that they tore. Catch-22 by Joseph Heller, in addition to contributing to our modern language, is the most accurate depiction, I have encountered, of life in the Air Force. As absurd as the previous exchange was, it happened. Such a society is necessary if the poor are to overcome the effects of media and politicians made up of and owned by the wealthy. Catch-22 speaks to me because I don’t have the combat experience many people associate with military service. It spends most of its pages describing the time between combat, the little absurdities that make up the majority of time in the military, with very short bursts of action. I share a cultural reference frame with Catch-22 that enriches the experience. In contrast, if my copy of Don Quixote didn’t have footnotes, I would be quite lost. I think he believes that conformity undermines intellectual potentialâ€"an opinion I now strongly agree with. Moreover, he has taught me to stand my ground and be perceptive. The critical viewpoint I have grown into has trained me not to take things for granted and to be inquisitive. So, in a way, The Master and Margarita has helped me to understand my father and appreciate him as an outsider, an individualist. I have also become an individualist who tries to defy the conformism around him. A Pole reciting the opening of Pan Tadeusz is like an American reciting the Pledge of Allegiance. Its author, Adam Mickiewicz, is considered something of a literary god, somewhere between Dante and Shakespeare. Self-confidence is something I have struggled very long and hard with. I used to worry that I would stand outâ€"especially in school. The views of my society are rather one dimensional towards being different. Clevenger is a motivated idealist who thinks that anything less than complete devotion to God, Country, and Duty is insane. Colonel Cathcart is a leader that cares more about his reputation for leading “the toughest” than he does about the well-being of his people. Stories of centuries ago would flit around us as her voice gave life to Orpheus, the musician, Prometheus, the maker of man, and Pan, the god of nature. Great literature forces the reader to identify with the characters. I think we’ve all had a situation in which we have identified with the protagonist of this story and had experiences with people exemplified by the other characters in this book. Yosarian, the protagonist, is a man who looks at the world around him and wonders if he is the only sane person in an insane world. Hungry Joe can only get a peaceful night’s sleep while working mission lest being driven mad by idleness. In times of strife, I would often revisit these myths, using them to process and understand the stress of my young life. To clarify, my response was not a result of any past trauma. My visceral reaction to Lolita remains a mystery to me. The words manifested in my body, and remain there today.